RANT: F*** those A**holes

This first rant is gonna be a very honest one, but one that I think most of my lovely ladies can relate.

Next weekend I am meeting Boyfriend's family for the first time... and I have been getting progressively more nervous as we get closer to our vacation. And it's not for the reasons you would think. I know that they are going to think I am nice and sweet, and they are going to enjoy spending time with me. We are going to have a great time -- that I'm NOT worried about. I am worried that they are going to meet me and the first thing they are going to think is, "She's Fat and Ugly and Not-Good-Enough."

And that is absurd!

Boyfriend is the sweetest guy in the world who adores his family; and they all seem like VERY nice, fun people. Why would I think they would be so harsh and critical? While I am not a super model and could lose about 15 pounds, I am by no means Fat. And I know I'm pretty and, in Legal Blonde terms, not "unfortunate." So why the hell would these thoughts come into my head?

This is where the rant comes in.

It's because of A**holes from the past. All of them, including the kids who made fun of me in school. Those kids are the reason why I thought all I could get were the losers I dated in college -- who proceeded to take turns chipping away at my self-esteem. I'm sure all of you can relate. He's the guy who told you you'd look great if you would lose that bit of weight so "then you'd really be hot." And the one that asked if you ever would get a boob job for him.

They are also the friends who were so insecure they would rather scar you for life than let you be happier than them (that hurts the most). The ones who ended up stealing your boyfriend at a beach party and telling you, "It doesn't matter how pretty you are, no one will want to be with you if you are Fat. Don't be sad, I am only telling you this because I Love You."

I know some of you are thinking, "Crap, Girl! Why are you telling everyone this!"

Because I know we're all dealing with emotional baggage from people who have treated us wrong in the past. I was so scared and insecure that it was making me a total mess. When I told my friend what I was thinking, she shared her story and I learned that I'm not the only one who has these self-doubts. And as I released into the room the words that had been torturing me, I realized that they are SO not true!

That's when I got pissed.

How dare they say those things to me! And how dare I not stand up for myself! Well, it's never too late, right? So this is my big F*** You that I should have said a LONG time ago.

F*** You, jerk ex-boyfriends!

F*** You, so-called friends!

Go ahead and join me -- it feels GREAT! Who do you feel like giving the finger to?

PS: Feel free to pass this on if you think it would help someone. Us girls gotta stick together!